Articles

The rate of divorce in America is at the highest point it has ever been. Trying to figure out how to save your marriage is hard because each marriage is completely different. You can look to books, classes, support groups, counselors, or even television shows for advice on how to stay together.

Most people will agree that the most difficult and hardest divorces are those in which children are involved. Divorce increases the numbers of single parent families and, as it is more difficult to support children when incomes are divided, the numbers of children living in or near poverty is on the rise also. This doesn't even begin to talk about the social and emotional problems that children are faced with as a result of divorcing parents. Children are also the number one reason that couples ask "Please, help save my marriage".

Many people have written books on the subject "help save my marriage." Some of these authors include Dr. Phil, James Dobson, and Laura Schlessinger. These are just a few of the authors who have written books and had shows that some people say has actually helped them to save their marriages.

Divorce, the myths and reasons keep couples at risk. Surely, if one thinks for a moment, the adage that one simply "falls into" or "out of love" doesn't quite measure up to the reasons why some relationships last and indeed thrive, while others disintegrate into a toxic place of rage and abandonment. Until those that adhere to the old myths are made aware of their inaccurate simplicity, the helplessness of having control and managing relationships will forever be unattainable. Within this new found understanding of love, couples will then be able to step out of themselves and this floundering about to a space of compassion, of serving the other, serving the relationship.

Couples who are on the brink of divorce need to stop and consider that it isn't always the other person's fault that there are problems in the relationship. Often couples may be upset about not having needs met that they haven't presented to their spouse. If you want or need something you are getting from your marriage, you have to make sure you have communicated this need clearly and without being angry or condescending.

Those attempting to "help save my marriage" need to remember that trying to help save marriage is very hard work. It takes a lot of effort and time and results are not immediate. Couples who are willing to try can do it, however. If two people really desire to stay in the marriage and will do what is necessary to heal their union, the marriage can be saved. It often becomes even stronger than ever and the partners are much happier.